“It’s like I’m in a boat in a thick fog. Other boats are moving around me. People are shouting, telling me to go in different directions. I don’t know which way to go.” A recently promoted leader shared these visceral thoughts in a coaching conversation.
At the time, I said he needed a compass, something on his boat that would tell him which way to go regardless of the confusion and the conflicting views around him. I didn’t mean that literally, of course: I meant that his core values could guide him.
That was over 15 years ago, early in my coaching career. Today, the CEOs and senior executives I work with lead in a world of even more profound complexity, volatility, and white-hot change. It’s a survival skill for leaders to remain grounded so they can provide the steady, inspiring leadership the moment demands. And the only way to achieve this is to stay rooted in enduring realities within, and around, you.
Importantly, grounding is not just a solo journey. It’s not just about tethering to what’s inside you. In the age of AI, it’s also increasingly relational.
Invest in authentic human connections at work
Studies show that CEOs and senior executives are lonely. And loneliness — beyond feeling bad — lowers performance and compromises health. You may have hundreds of relationships, and a few close connections with family and friends. But family and friends cannot always understand the pressures you face professionally. You also need a few intimate professional relationships where you can be completely open about business concerns and fears, and how they intersect with you at a deep personal level, without any worry of political consequences. People you can confide in fully, regardless of your state of mind. People who not only listen, but who understand.
These could be people inside your organization, like cross-functional peers. But the more senior you are, the more likely they are to be colleagues at other companies, former business school classmates, a prior boss, a mentor, or a coach. Cultivating these relationships involves some risk, sharing more vulnerably than you ordinarily would. Start with people you already trust, taking small steps and opening up more to them, incrementally, to see how they respond. You may kiss a few frogs: not everyone will become your confidant. But the risk is well worth the potential rewards.
Lean into what you hold most “sacred”
Some of the best leaders I know have profound commitments to music, art, the outdoors, or spirituality. They are often private about these pursuits, but they hold a place of profound meaning in their lives. Such endeavors help leaders be resilient and grounded through challenges. In Strengthen Your Leadership With the Science of Awe, UC Berkeley Psychology Professor Dacher Keltner points out that feeling connected with something greater than yourself drives happiness, innovation, creativity, collaboration and improved decision-making — all important capacities in volatile times.
Identify what is sacred to you. It should put you in a relationship with something expansive and inspiring. It may be something that used to be important, but that you’re now rediscovering. For me it’s music, the outdoors, and spiritual reflection. I know executives who spend countless hours cycling, running, or enjoying art.
If you’re “too busy,” remember that these things can be integrated into your life without adding any time. Like bringing music to your commute instead of the news. Or planning more walking meetings, or hanging art in your workspace. One senior executive I know aspires to remain aware of God throughout her long days as an AI leader. It doesn’t add time, but it grounds her deeply in what’s most important to her.
Develop stakeholder empathy
In a recent HBR article, Harvard Professor Bill George points out that CEOs seem to be drifting away from authentic, empathetic leadership, to the detriment of their companies. This might be a survival instinct in a time when other priorities, like AI and operational efficiency, seem to be in the foreground. Our media is full of examples of senior leaders putting self-interest above caring for others.
But consider the costs if you are disconnected from your people, and your own feelings. Organizations become colder, employees’ quality of life suffers. Ultimately, talent migrates to better environments. One study of 26,000 professionals over a decade found that employees in low-empathy companies were 1.5x more likely to change jobs within six months compared with those in more empathetic companies. And yet, 59% of CEOs saw empathy as just “nice to have.”
Whatever technologies evolve now and in the future, the human experience will always have its center in human relationships. As we interact more with AI, empathy will become increasingly rare and valuable. By staying grounded in empathy for all of your stakeholders, you stay grounded in something that’s truly enduring: your humanity.
Gain perspective from history
While we may feel that today presents a unique moment of volatility, history paints a different picture. Even a superficial look at our past reveals a pattern: periods of enormous disruption followed by a new normal. Consider for example the American Revolution and the Civil War, times when families were split and at times literally killing each other. Or the Industrial Revolution, when machines could do the work of hundreds of people. Imagine how people felt during those times, what they must have worried about!
Reflecting on our past may not remove today’s problems. But it does provide perspective, and a kind of calm that can help us make sense of things. It helps to know that other generations have gone through periods of intense change, and have endured. I’m not suggesting history always unfolds uniformly toward better outcomes, but the perspective of history can have a quieting and grounding effect on the mind.
If you don’t like reading history, consider documentaries or podcasts. My wife and I have been enjoying Ken Burns’ documentary on the American Revolution, and we’ve both gained perspective on today’s world.
Cultivate a grounded optimism
Optimism is a powerful force for remaining steady, because your optimistic thoughts and feelings can be impervious to the challenges in front of you. They may be tested, but true optimism transcends the moment. This kind of utter conviction in a positive future is the lifeblood of positive leadership. It provides buoyancy to you, and the people you lead. And it’s within your control, because it’s within you.
If you struggle to remain optimistic, try this: ask yourself, what’s the most positive outcome that’s possible here? Spend time marinating in the best possible outcomes you can imagine for a current challenge, even if they seem unrealistic at first. It will change how you feel, and might unlock a new path forward.
That said, grounded leaders also need to look squarely at the reality in front of them, to see and process facts. Optimism that is uninformed by reality can lead to bad decisions — for example, betting on a new product that has no market. Wisdom lies in fully actualizing both sides of the equation: the conviction that anything is possible, and accurate perception of what is so now. Wise strategies reflect both polarities.
Being a CEO or senior executive has never been easy. And it’s harder now than ever. This is why so many leaders, in quiet moments, ask themselves, “Am I up for this?” Having clear, durable strategies to stay grounded can make all the difference.