In my last post, I looked at the importance of self-awareness and knowing your audience as foundations for good influence. Today, I turn our attention to integrity, another key building block.
Cultivate positive intent. Of all the things you have to manage, you might think that something inside yourself would be easiest to control. But the truth is that our motives and intentions are often outside of our conscious awareness. And things outside of our awareness are notoriously difficult to manage.
Positive intent towards others, a desire for their success and well-being, are powerful ingredients of influence. When others feel that you have their best interests at heart, they are more likely to be influenced by you.
But do you have their best interests at heart, really? Reflect on your intent towards the person or people you want to influence, bringing it fully into the light of day. If you are like most leaders, your intent is probably a mixture of helpfulness and self-interest. That’s OK, but if the scales tip too much towards self-interest, ultimately your stakeholders will detect and respond to that even if you don’t broadcast it or fully see it yourself.
Once you see what your intent is, you can manage it proactively: “How can I best serve this person?” Of course, this doesn’t mean abandoning your own needs, or ignoring untrustworthy behavior.
Be impeccable with your words. Because influence is a communication task, much of it comes down to how you use language.
First, only speak the truth. One of the largest studies of leadership ever conducted found that what people want from their leaders more than anything else is honesty. Honesty requires courage, but at times it also requires hard work to know what the truth actually is.
In working with teams of executives preparing for high-stakes regulatory meetings in Washington DC, I discovered that one of the hardest parts in creating powerful key messages is agreeing on what is actually so. I recall one leadership team that spent half a day just trying to answer a single question. When I asked, someone said, “We’ve been trying to answer that question for two years.” It can be equally hard to unearth the truth about your own views and feelings. To be fully honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself—which goes back to self-awareness.
Don’t take an overly simplistic view of what it means to communicate that truth. Being truthful doesn’t mean saying everything you are thinking, inappropriately sharing confidential information, or saying things in an unnecessarily harsh, direct way. It simply means, be as transparent as you are able. Remember too that part of your job as leader is to inspire and lift people up. Ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to say useful?” When sharing a hard truth with your team, don’t leave them depressed. Inspire them with what’s possible.
The most influential leaders I know are extraordinary communicators, sophisticated and subtle in how they communicate in a variety of contexts: with their board, the media, direct reports, and investors. They tailor their messages carefully for each audience, because they know the audience well. But they do not manipulate, lie, or exaggerate. They are truthful and sophisticated.
Be impeccable with your actions. To maximize your influence, model the kind of behavior you expect from others.
In the seminal book The Leadership Challenge, the authors point out that “Modeling the way” is essential. The most skilled leaders know that how they show up, both publicly and privately, has more impact than their words. A good rule of thumb is this: know your core values, and the values of your organization, and work to be an ideal role model of them. This doesn’t require perfection, but it does demand a palpable commitment to live the values, especially when doing so is difficult or requires personal sacrifice.
For example, in a company that values “collaboration,” a division leader might include peers in a decision even when doing so may disadvantage her organization. That willingness to make a sacrifice for the good of the organization will further embed collaboration as a core value.
Also, do what you say you will do. It may seem old school, but keeping your word is a tremendous builder of long-term influence. By keeping commitments impeccably, people learn they can trust what you say, and act on it.
Reading all this, you may ask, “What about leaders who acquire great influence but don’t appear to have the sort of integrity you’re describing here?” To which I say, if you aspire to make the world better—then take the high road. There will always be people who employ different, often darker strategies to achieve self-serving goals. But if your goals are virtuous, then your leadership must be as well.
In my next post I talk about the importance of building relationships and inspiring others with a compelling vision for the future.